Yes, I dare to name the natural process of living longer “growing old.” I think that I have gained the right to address this process because I am lived beyond those “three scores and ten + ten.” Looking back: I was a child, and I remember hearing my elders in the church sing, “I look back and wonder how I got over.” Here I am, choosing to celebrate a life that has been filled with challenges and thriving in the face of adversity.
I remember asking my mother at her ripe age of 40, “What is it like to be old?” She looked at me with her bright smile and replied that she did not know. Do any of us really know what it means to grow old? I would like to believe that we start this living process when we come out of the womb. I suggest that growing old is a particular blessing for African Americans because the mortality rate of our babies is higher than any other race. Therefore, there is an urgency for us to reflect on the path to longevity. Not just a discussion on a long life, but the quality of that life.
One of my favorite African proverbs reminds us that when an old person dies, a library burns down. There are so many libraries with repositories of original, unpublished works that are waiting to be mined for information to help guide future generations. Sadly, many of these human libraries are unaware of their value in society. In many cultures, a
ging is seen as a blessing! Older people are honored and cared for because of their wisdom and are keepers of their cultural archives. Unfortunately, ageism has become a stigma in so many segments of modern society.
I was moved by a conversation between Dr. Oz and Tamron Hall on the Dr. Oz show. Tamron remarked that there is a disparage between how society sees men and women as they age. Men can be bald, gain weight, and are still seen as culturally relevant, but women are seen as being past their prime or lacking self-care. She dreamed of the time that women could continue their careers into their 50s, 60s, and 70s. This conversation serves as a transition to the next issue facing an increasing number of people, particularly in the developed world. Both men and women are living longer. The 2020 United States Census found that 18.65% of the population is over 65.
I will offer two historical reasons that have contributed to the myriad of problems facing old people, particularly in urban settings. The two are migration and immigration. The great migration from the south brought many families and single individuals to urban environments, seeking jobs and freedom from racism and oppression. I grew up in Alabama and watched many from my family and community make the great migration to urban cities in the north and coastal west.
The historical writer Isabel Wilkerson wrote her seminal book “The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of American Great Migration:” Many of those who made that
epic journey closed that chapter and never spoke about their past; instead, investing in their new lives and identities in urban cities. Many individuals immigrated from every continent to the continental United States seeking freedom and a better life. Eventually, for many reasons, they lose contact with their families in the old country as they age in their adopted country without a supportive community.
This conversation is to be continued. I will leave you with this Congolese Proverb: “Prepare now for the problems for tomorrow.”
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